Table of Contents

arrow_back_ios_new

 Will  You be Ready for the

“Surprise" Phone Call? 

 

Will You be Ready for the “Surprise" Phone Call? 

The inadequacies of disaster preparedness continue to be front page news with the latest catastrophe still fresh, hurricane Helene and Milton. However, when it comes to another one of life’s great challenges, caring for an elderly parent, we are also struggling with how to be fully prepared. 

And  why is that?

 The inevitability that one day we must all face losing a father or a mother, whom we love so dearly to a chronic illness or simply aging, is somehow not motivation enough? It’s almost as if we believe that it won’t happen to us. According to a Harvard study, denial is the #1 reason we do not plan ahead.

What we do have to remember is that the quality of life for our loved one will one day depend entirely upon us and the amount of preparation we have made in advance. Not only does their quality of life depend on preparation in advance but, ours and that of our entire family. While most everyone is engaged in how to avoid the whole issue until absolutely necessary, there is a secret that I want to share with you. I can tell you this with certainty having been through it with my own father, that as much as we resist planning for that day, there is an equal amount of peace of mind that accompanies knowing that YOU ARE READY. 

However, finding meaningful support can be challenging because most information is focused on the patient care and not on the caregiver. There are two main components, logistical and emotional management. We are still in our infancy in the evaluation of how to identify and embrace the complicated decisions that have to be made around caring for a loved one. If the logistics are thought through in advance, the family caregiver has a much greater chance of managing the emotional stress that happens over the years and years of caring for a chronically ill loved one.

While interviewing the President of United Way of Georgia, I witnessed a passionate response about he himself not feeling adequately prepared for the surprises caregiving presented. There was great emotion in his voice as he reflected on having watched his own father struggle with Alzheimer’s Disease. 

Storm Sandy brought into focus some alarming gaps in our disaster preparedness not only for the general population, but for our elderly loved ones. A story was shared with me by a friend whose in-laws were in the storm. She reiterated that the elderly are particularly vulnerable and many times may make poor decisions because they do not want to be a bother…even in an emergency situation. Communication had broken down entirely during the first few days. Independent living, as she discovered, is independent and offered no assistance. The friend I refer to is a Human Services expert specializing in the area of Elderly Services. She too felt that following this event, she must rethink her approach to her own remote caregiving plan. 

 I bring these examples to the forefront for several reasons. When speaking to the President of United Way, I referred to caregiving preparation as disaster preparedness for a catastrophic event that strikes your family. I believe it is as important as a will or even saving for college. As I drew the comparison between how we approach disaster compared to how we approach caregiving, the light went on.  He realized the importance and how equally devastating both can be if no preparation is in place prior to a crisis. Neither of these highly successful professionals were personally prepared for the unexpected requirements that caregiving brings to a family. 

So what chance does the ordinary person have if the professionals are still in denial? The truth is that being a professional doesn’t really count as much as we thought. Each of us is doing this for the first time and we are all compromised by its emotional impact. Whether you are rich or poor, black or white, living in Alabama or Washington D.C., the process of caring for someone with a chronic disease is equally overwhelming and potentially devastating. 

How do we find peace of mind? By being prepared.

Where does stress come from?  Being unprepared.

WHAT’S YOUR PLAN?

It was an honor and a privilege to care for my father. Showing the people we love that we care, with more than words, but with education and planning shows our own children what love really is. 

When it comes to caregiving………….

                                                        love is in the details.

                                            

arrow_back_ios_new arrow_forward_ios
arrow_forward_ios
toc close

Table of Contents

 Will  You be Ready for the

“Surprise" Phone Call? 

 

Will You be Ready for the “Surprise" Phone Call? 

The inadequacies of disaster preparedness continue to be front page news with the latest catastrophe still fresh, hurricane Helene and Milton. However, when it comes to another one of life’s great challenges, caring for an elderly parent, we are also struggling with how to be fully prepared. 

And  why is that?

 The inevitability that one day we must all face losing a father or a mother, whom we love so dearly to a chronic illness or simply aging, is somehow not motivation enough? It’s almost as if we believe that it won’t happen to us. According to a Harvard study, denial is the #1 reason we do not plan ahead.

What we do have to remember is that the quality of life for our loved one will one day depend entirely upon us and the amount of preparation we have made in advance. Not only does their quality of life depend on preparation in advance but, ours and that of our entire family. While most everyone is engaged in how to avoid the whole issue until absolutely necessary, there is a secret that I want to share with you. I can tell you this with certainty having been through it with my own father, that as much as we resist planning for that day, there is an equal amount of peace of mind that accompanies knowing that YOU ARE READY. 

However, finding meaningful support can be challenging because most information is focused on the patient care and not on the caregiver. There are two main components, logistical and emotional management. We are still in our infancy in the evaluation of how to identify and embrace the complicated decisions that have to be made around caring for a loved one. If the logistics are thought through in advance, the family caregiver has a much greater chance of managing the emotional stress that happens over the years and years of caring for a chronically ill loved one.

While interviewing the President of United Way of Georgia, I witnessed a passionate response about he himself not feeling adequately prepared for the surprises caregiving presented. There was great emotion in his voice as he reflected on having watched his own father struggle with Alzheimer’s Disease. 

Storm Sandy brought into focus some alarming gaps in our disaster preparedness not only for the general population, but for our elderly loved ones. A story was shared with me by a friend whose in-laws were in the storm. She reiterated that the elderly are particularly vulnerable and many times may make poor decisions because they do not want to be a bother…even in an emergency situation. Communication had broken down entirely during the first few days. Independent living, as she discovered, is independent and offered no assistance. The friend I refer to is a Human Services expert specializing in the area of Elderly Services. She too felt that following this event, she must rethink her approach to her own remote caregiving plan. 

 I bring these examples to the forefront for several reasons. When speaking to the President of United Way, I referred to caregiving preparation as disaster preparedness for a catastrophic event that strikes your family. I believe it is as important as a will or even saving for college. As I drew the comparison between how we approach disaster compared to how we approach caregiving, the light went on.  He realized the importance and how equally devastating both can be if no preparation is in place prior to a crisis. Neither of these highly successful professionals were personally prepared for the unexpected requirements that caregiving brings to a family. 

So what chance does the ordinary person have if the professionals are still in denial? The truth is that being a professional doesn’t really count as much as we thought. Each of us is doing this for the first time and we are all compromised by its emotional impact. Whether you are rich or poor, black or white, living in Alabama or Washington D.C., the process of caring for someone with a chronic disease is equally overwhelming and potentially devastating. 

How do we find peace of mind? By being prepared.

Where does stress come from?  Being unprepared.

WHAT’S YOUR PLAN?

It was an honor and a privilege to care for my father. Showing the people we love that we care, with more than words, but with education and planning shows our own children what love really is. 

When it comes to caregiving………….

                                                        love is in the details.

                                            

arrow_back_ios_new arrow_forward_ios