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Looking Back...

Looking back, writing was my way of processing what had happened. It was the beginning of my healing after my father died. I was able to express my feelings while reaching out to others with what I had learned. 

It was also how I discovered my calling which was to help other caregivers in their own process of how to plan, manage and grow during one of the most difficult times in their lives.

An untold story imprisons the heart and makes it impossible to heal or move on. A story is a testament that goes beyond words. It can be communicated through a painting or a song, a poem or even a blog. It is an expression of the heart and spirit.  Sharing these personal moments does not just help the caregiver. It creates a conversation about what is rarely spoken of. It heals other caregivers going through the same thing. 

A story untold is like a tree falling in the forest with no one there. Every caregiver needs a witness. Bearing witness is evidence that something has happened.  When most avoid the uncomfortable conversation about an aging parent at home, the experience of the caregiver remains tucked behind closed doors, unacknowledged. Every caregiver needs a witness. Bearing witness is evidence that something has happened.  When most avoid the uncomfortable conversation about an aging parent at home, the experience of the caregiver remains tucked behind closed doors, unacknowledged. 

THE UNTOLD

STORY

As I struggled with grief and what this loss had meant to me, I realized that it was, in fact, this very process that had transformed my hardship into a whole new direction and purpose. It may be difficult to see what a rare opportunity hardship offers until you are able to look back on it. But hardship is a time that forces us to choose what’s important, to show up and to become our best selves regardless of what anyone else may choose to do. This is the painful gift a loved one leaves with you, and one that may even transform the lives of others.

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”  

- Soren Kierkegaard  

Fifteen-year long project

As I was finally about to launch my now fifteen-year long project, I decided that it was time for us caregivers to flip this old worn-out paradigm that we have been living, ON ITS HEAD. Rather than allowing ourselves to become silent victims, isolated and voiceless, we should instead share our experience, our insights, our joys as well as our pain during this most important time in our lives; the slow letting go of someone we love, and who has loved us. 

This is Sandy...

My first interview was with Sandy. She demonstrates how family caregivers, even though one of our most precious resources, have been invisible in their sacrifice; their own lives and dreams put to one side to take care of a declining loved one. While most of us are accustomed to focusing on the patient in need, few see or understand what the caregiver is going through.

I learned something else very important from Sandy. It was not from hearing her story, it was from how she allowed me to tell mine. Over the months that we knew each other, I realized that everyone needs a witness. Caregivers need for someone to see what they are going through in order to process what is happening to them.

You may be thinking, what do you mean what is happening to them? They are not the one's dying. But the grief that one feels over time can cause a caregiver to spiral up or spiral down depending on how they process it.

For me, having a witness was the beginning of my healing. Sandy was my witness.

Thank You Sandy.

Read "WITNESS" in the next edition.

We all have a story to tell

……that could help someone else.

As I was finally about to launch my fifteen year long project, I wanted to keep the conversation going. Caregiving OUT LOUD is a forum where we can all share our stories with each other and learn from them. 

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Table of Contents

Looking Back...

Looking back, writing was my way of processing what had happened. It was the beginning of my healing after my father died. I was able to express my feelings while reaching out to others with what I had learned. 

It was also how I discovered my calling which was to help other caregivers in their own process of how to plan, manage and grow during one of the most difficult times in their lives.

An untold story imprisons the heart and makes it impossible to heal or move on. A story is a testament that goes beyond words. It can be communicated through a painting or a song, a poem or even a blog. It is an expression of the heart and spirit.  Sharing these personal moments does not just help the caregiver. It creates a conversation about what is rarely spoken of. It heals other caregivers going through the same thing. 

A story untold is like a tree falling in the forest with no one there. Every caregiver needs a witness. Bearing witness is evidence that something has happened.  When most avoid the uncomfortable conversation about an aging parent at home, the experience of the caregiver remains tucked behind closed doors, unacknowledged. Every caregiver needs a witness. Bearing witness is evidence that something has happened.  When most avoid the uncomfortable conversation about an aging parent at home, the experience of the caregiver remains tucked behind closed doors, unacknowledged. 

THE UNTOLD

STORY

As I struggled with grief and what this loss had meant to me, I realized that it was, in fact, this very process that had transformed my hardship into a whole new direction and purpose. It may be difficult to see what a rare opportunity hardship offers until you are able to look back on it. But hardship is a time that forces us to choose what’s important, to show up and to become our best selves regardless of what anyone else may choose to do. This is the painful gift a loved one leaves with you, and one that may even transform the lives of others.

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”  

- Soren Kierkegaard  

Fifteen-year long project

As I was finally about to launch my now fifteen-year long project, I decided that it was time for us caregivers to flip this old worn-out paradigm that we have been living, ON ITS HEAD. Rather than allowing ourselves to become silent victims, isolated and voiceless, we should instead share our experience, our insights, our joys as well as our pain during this most important time in our lives; the slow letting go of someone we love, and who has loved us. 

This is Sandy...

My first interview was with Sandy. She demonstrates how family caregivers, even though one of our most precious resources, have been invisible in their sacrifice; their own lives and dreams put to one side to take care of a declining loved one. While most of us are accustomed to focusing on the patient in need, few see or understand what the caregiver is going through.

I learned something else very important from Sandy. It was not from hearing her story, it was from how she allowed me to tell mine. Over the months that we knew each other, I realized that everyone needs a witness. Caregivers need for someone to see what they are going through in order to process what is happening to them.

You may be thinking, what do you mean what is happening to them? They are not the one's dying. But the grief that one feels over time can cause a caregiver to spiral up or spiral down depending on how they process it.

For me, having a witness was the beginning of my healing. Sandy was my witness.

Thank You Sandy.

Read "WITNESS" in the next edition.

We all have a story to tell

……that could help someone else.

As I was finally about to launch my fifteen year long project, I wanted to keep the conversation going. Caregiving OUT LOUD is a forum where we can all share our stories with each other and learn from them. 

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